Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Family

You think that you’ll remember certain things. You think that some things are so ingrained in your brain and in your memories that you just couldn’t forget them. It might be memories, it might be people’s faces, it might be names, phone numbers, addresses, conversations, experiences ….whatever ….we think we won’t forget….but sometimes we do. They fade just a little; the edges of the memories get a little fuzzy. It can surprise us, frustrate us, but mostly just saddens us.

I’ve was reminded about that recently when I received a video from a funeral service of my maternal grandmother’s sister. As I watched the video that was filmed in California, there were glimpses of people who looked vaguely familiar. As I continued to watch the video it included a section of photographs of my relatives. I recognized many of them. Now there was a time when I could have rattled off the list of names one after another, and who was older, and on and on. However, as I watched I realized that I was struggling to remember some of the names. I recognized the faces, but I couldn’t remember which name went with which face. I also saw pictures of some of my family that I have not seen for over 25 years. And I saw faces that I have long since said “goodbye” to but are still near and dear in my heart.

Now you might think that watching the video would have been very depressing. But quite to the contrary, as I watched and listened to my cousins’ talk about my Aunt Marge’s life and how she was raised, how she raised her children, it reminded me of my Grandmother. Both Aunt Marge and Grandmom shared the same love of family, same values, the same love of the Lord. I realized that my Great-Great-Grandparents had fostered a love of Jesus into their children, and then into their children and how it impacted me.

I know that my Grandmother raised her children knowing Jesus. While I know that my mother became a Jehovah’s Witness to marry my father, I also recall my Grandmother telling me that my Uncle told her that he had many a discussion with her prior to her death and she did not die one. I’ve found comfort in that. When I didn’t do things she approved of, Grandmom didn’t stop loving me. I also know that during my “bitter” time after the JW’s excommunicated me and told people not to associate with me, including father, sister and brother; my Grandmother encouraged me to not be bitter, but to forgive them. She told me it wasn’t God who was judging me. She waited patiently and lovingly through my anger. We comforted each other during my mother’s death.

My Grandmother was Jesus “with skin” for me. I didn’t realize it until many years later. I just knew she loved me, unconditionally. She always was Jesus “with skin” for me. Not just for me, but for everyone that she encountered.

And watching the video, I saw someone else that I was related to that was Jesus “with skin”. And, her daughter, Shirley, was Jesus “with skin” sending me a video to include me. It felt sort of nice being related to such good examples of strong women, so thank you Jesus for sharing them with me.

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